11:29am
Home, in front of refrigerator
Just back from gym. Was emaciated, refugee-skeleton bobbing up and down next to normal and portly Fellow Exercisers on elliptical. Hate being underweight. Cannot gain five pounds soon enough.
Wish could find fashion magazine with articles titled "My Fabulous Weight Gain Adventure" or "Gain Five Pounds in 20 Days!" so could feel part of lovely, weight-gain community, which, to current knowledge, does not exist. Wish could feel all chummy with fellow weight-gainers, except is impossible, for all seem to want to lose weight, as was proven by countless overheard conversations on floor and in locker room. Even charming English-Accent-Lady was talking about weight loss as she adjusted my tangled "glingy" (a.k.a. bra clasp).
Have decided to create imaginary community of weight gainers so that do not feel like pariah in gym.
Have also decided that majority of weight gain will be in chestal-area, as currently look as though am smuggling two sad English muffins in bra. Can create innovative weight-gain plan that directs all additional flesh to breasts, then can sell as product, thereby making fortune and paying off student loans.
Posts
Simone! Your blog, I've founds it! (I recently remembered to check your website, and then noticed it was all different and snazzy, and then found your bloggy-poo, hopefully you don't mind..)
ReplyDeleteWell! To comment on your post, I can relate! I've been underweight my whole life, with deficiencies here and there, some problems worse than others (details I will spare you of!). Though, recently (the past year or so) I've been able to gain a lot of weight (comparative to the usual..uh..not really gaining weight). I guess it's kinda like...the "freshman 15" kind of effect. The past year or so in school, I've been so physically inactive, it's finally catching up. Just routine of sitting and doing homework/studying/etc, eating, staying up late, and minimal exercise. On the bright side, it's good because I'm finally nearing average weight, but at the same time I feel it is mostly unhealthy weight (*points at muffin top*).
I've definitely gotta keep the resolution this year to get on the super-healthy-awesomely-fit-train! THE POWER OF YOUTH COMPELS US (cue Gai-sensei, of which I started catching up on the Naruto manga! Though I'm not far...only a bit after the whole Gaara fiasco). Anyways Simone, you are a very motivated person! You can do it, and please, continue to BE TOTALLY EXTREME ALL THE TIME FOREVER (http://nedroidcomics.livejournal.com/203100.html)